I'm not economist. Nor am I a numbers gal...but this ought to be fun and thought provoking.
Coming Soon!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Why the corn lobby is Bullshit
and why alt forms of ethanol fuel should be looked at in addition to wind, solar, nuclear and hydrogen fuels.
including my simple theory on the Earth's lubrication and burping and how if we deplete oilthat lubes it up...we're all screwed
Coming soon!
including my simple theory on the Earth's lubrication and burping and how if we deplete oilthat lubes it up...we're all screwed
Coming soon!
Coming Soon The honest Boss conversation
Why we all know that it's highly unlikely the job we choose to accept will not be our end game goal.
And
Why you should have an open and honest dialogue about your intentions from day 1.
I know! It sounds like a crazy idea but I'll share with you the conversation my boss initiated and why I'm so incredibly grateful and see his skill as an incredible asset of courage and realism to have this conversation.
COMING soon!
And
Why you should have an open and honest dialogue about your intentions from day 1.
I know! It sounds like a crazy idea but I'll share with you the conversation my boss initiated and why I'm so incredibly grateful and see his skill as an incredible asset of courage and realism to have this conversation.
COMING soon!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Forget your watch or any other time piece when dealing with gov't Offices
I actually drafted this blog before I found my job but I still feel it holds true. So, I'll complete my thoughts post Hiring!
WRITTEN PRIOR TO JAN 12
Recession finally hits region my arse.
WRITTEN PRIOR TO JAN 12
Recession finally hits region my arse.
It's fascinating to me that one author can take a bunch of statistics, skew the perception of those numbers and say ...finally, the effects of the recessions are being felt in Buffalo. Buffalo never left the doldrums that quickly followed the boom town days of industry and manufacturing. A quick review of census statistics shows me that Erie country population numbers have decreased from in 1970 (pop. 1,113,491), to 1980 (pop. 1,015,472) to 1990 (pop. 965,532) to 2000 (pop. 950,265). I'm not one to lean on statistics because they can be manipulated in so many ways. But, one thing is clear. It's stands to reason that we should be losing jobs continuously. If we continue to lose people, we don't need as many people working to support our education, infrastructure, retail and manufacturing businesses.
As I'm faced with the prospect of looking for a job, I'm now facing a larger pool of competition. It's daunting enough to consider that I may be faced with lining up the department of economic security (yes I said it-the welfare line, it's a real possibility!) with 5.7% of the rest of the city. I continue to look for a job and will likely take something that I'm either overqualified for, or will be paid barely a living wage. I need to save money for school, since it's likely loans and grant will be come more scarce.
WRITTEN POST HIRING:
SO I've now got a job with an appellate publishing company. (that's just code for we make fancy copies with specific parameters...for attorneys - we do some other stuff too but not really glamorous-though it's familiarizing me with legal processes, so I consider it a useful job for me, and I actually really like the person I work for. We both know we're not curing cancer but providing competent service for people who need it.)
One of the daily exercises established for my job requires me to go to the County Clerk's office to look up complaints. Prior to being able to get copies, I needed set up an escrow account, so that I may copy paperwork when necessary with that account as our bank.
Upon discussing my needs with a manager in the records area, I was directed to the customer service department across the hallway. It was approximately 3:45 (late in the day by state employee standards) when I approached the customer service desk. I then waited...for seven minutes...while the woman at the window gabbed away on a personal call while I stood approximately 7 feet from here, where the clearly designated area existed. She made no effort to end her phone call in a timely manner, even though she was fully aware of my presence. I waited politely. Have you ever waited around for seven minutes? Go ahead, stand in the same spot, watching your watch for that amount of time. You tired or climbing out of your skin yet?
Oh, BUT I did learn what she was having for dinner, where to purchase it at the best price and who was joining her for the dinner, who the family was prepared to gossip about and criticize for their unskilled parenting skills and various other clucking one may hear from the busy body auntie of each family! You'd think homegirl would have given me an invitation to her colonoscopy after learning all that in seven minutes. Although from the looks of it, her colon hasn't seen much pass through it, given the three hundred pound ASS attached to the rest of her body. Did I mention they were having Pizza and wings for dinner? SHOCKER, right?
After seven minutes of waiting, my business with her lasted all of 15 seconds...if that! She redirected me for now a third time, to the Clerk's windows. By now, it was 3:54pm. I made the 10 yard trek from said Customer Service (that term is used loosely) Window, to the Clerk's Cashier's Window. I waited another three minutes. No one on line here either. Oh, and six people sitting at windows doing what? Not a damn thing. Well, two of the ladies (cause they certainly didn't look like girls, however the subject of the next part of this sentence would seem to indicate they should have been) were talking about where their seats were for the upcoming New Kids On the Block Show. (I admit it, I did go seen Danny, Donnie, Joe, John and Jordan once upon a time...in the eighth grade!) Ladies your on the downside of your thirties...if not on the questionably evident upside of your forties! Shouldn't you be going to a Clay Aiken show?
After my three minute wait, my business with this third window took all of 15 seconds...again! I was asked to wait yet again, for what would be my fourth encounter with a human to accomplish the original task.
FINALLY! I can feel the crescendo of relief, as I'm feeling I'm almost done. I meet Tom* He sets up my account! It probably took about 15 more minutes, but by now, I've resigned myself to throw out any time telling piece when entering a government office in the future (I'm considering checking my brain out the next time I come to this building as well, since I can feel the grey matter being sucked into its abyss). I pull out the check to set up the account balance. Oh NO, at ease in the harness there Jumper!! Wait, he does nothing other than set up the account! I need to go back to the cashier's window.
I'm now ready to go postal on some dumb ass NKOTB ticket-toting fat-ass union-protected bitch who refuses to use a computer because "it's not part of her job description and union re-negotiation would be required" to FORCE these minions to use modern day technology. And that just isn't cost efficient so the city decides to keep these knuckle draggin' excuses for homo sapiens on staff rather than fight a potential labor law case or the union. Bitch, how long have you had this job! And what century are you living in that you can't use a computer? So, I now have to wait for someone to HELP her process my transaction.
So there you have it. Six stops to accomplish one task. Union protected fucktards, unqualified by modern day standards in the REAL WORLD! I gave you the declining numbers on our city's population. I gave you anecdotal evidence as to the little need there is for all of the people who "assisted" me. And this is my welcome back to the employment world in Buffalo! Aww, it's so good to be home :D Oh...I think I got out of the building by about 4:45pm.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Lazy Media - ARGH!
I’ve been debating on whether I should write about this in my blog and I was stalling a little to see if there might be some follow up information to this story. Alas, that is part of the inherent problem! Here’s a link to the story with more holes than Swiss cheese in it if you care to read first: Man shot in Bentley dies
A 25 year old guy name Jose Luis Macias, whose has been listed as a resident of East los Angeles, was driving along a stretch of the 110 freeway, in (here’s the kicker) a silver Bentley Continental, when the car was pierced with multiple gun shots. It’s reported that he has since died as a result of injuries sustained in the shooting.
Here’s the where I’m curious, confused, skeptical, suspicious and critical all at the same time. So, little is known on this Macias kid. I refer affectionately to him as a kid because how many 25 year old people have you ever seen driving around in a Bentley. Sure, I drive through Bev Hills everyday on my commute to and fro work. But the peeps I see driving around in them are presidents of banks and wealthy old Hollywood producers and actors or just really wealthy Persians who made a killing on buying up and historically over inflating the real estate prices in BH (but that’s a whole different Freakonomics blog for a different day).
The only 25 year old I’ve ever seen driving a Bentley was Stephan Marbury when he was a Phoenix Sun a few years back and that’s just because I was new to town and there are an overwhelming number of luxury cars I’d just never seen in the flesh, being a young lass raised in Buffalo NY (for the record; luxury cars don’t do well in places like BUF. And I don’t know anyone wealthy enough in the WNY area to drive a Bentley, with the exception of perhaps a Sabre or Bill or owner of said teams…or maybe the Sorrento family). So, a 25 year old Hispanic male driving a 100K car? These are my people people! We like $3000 cars with $8K worth of accessories on ‘em-think tricked out Honda Civic with DeLorean style doors! We like old 70’s Caddies with White wall tires if we’re talking luxury vehicles (sorry Uncle Pete, we begged you not to drop us off in that beaner mobile for basketball practice daily!). Yeah I said it! And, we can fit our entire family in those things far easier than in a mini van. Plus there’s a nice little cargo hold where immigration can’t see people….it’s called a trunk people! No one’s goin to find long lost cousin Eusebio in the trunk amongst the gallon jugs of Mexican vanilla and blankets we’re taking back through Nogales!
Back to the Bentley. Reports show that the car was recently purchased from Dream Motors Cars in Beverly Hills. The name of the owner is not being released to the public. Nothing is known about the driver – what we can’t even find a myspace or facebook page on this guy? We don’t know why he was driving the car. It’s not likely that someone residing in East LA would own the car (I make this statement solely based on a Freakonomics perspective), since the median income is $28,544 (according to recent census numbers). So, who does the car belong to? Why was he driving it? Why was he in the neighborhood he was in (incidentally East LA is a mile or two from where he was. The more likely neighborhood where a car like that might belong is about 12 miles west of his location; it’s also where the car was purchased)? I have more questions now than before the story ran.
The media hasn’t done its job in gathering facts and back story. Reporters have become lazy. They don’t want to dig. They don’t want to ask the difficult questions. Stories like this drive me crazy. Because it’s likely we’ll see little follow up. Perhaps it’s just my curiosity that leads me to wonder about additional facts of this story however, it’s a great example of lazy journalism. It’s pervasive through out media outlets nationwide. Don’t believe me? Here are a few more examples where there is more missing than present. ANd these are just from today!:
Driver attacked while waiting at Red Light - just plain old laziness – there’s nothing here. This is a non story.
Super Market denies customer service – will not write Adolf Hitler on cake – how come nobody has the cojones to call this jackass anit-Semetic or question him as to why his kids are named what they are?-look at his kids names! ARGH!
Suspect cop is engaged…again – how come nobody bothered to look into snooping around about this poor naïve 23 year old girl and what the hell is her name?
I'm sure I could find some stuff about a hedge fund manager...(but I have a date with a hot one later, so I'm not going ot screw that up until AFTER my dinner at Mastro's - a girl's gotta eat), a stupid hocky player saying something even dumber than teh IQ embroidered on his sweater (yes, people they are called sweaters) , the crazy weather in LA or any other seemingly innocuous topic, but this is all I had time for!
Seriously people. LAZY!!!
A 25 year old guy name Jose Luis Macias, whose has been listed as a resident of East los Angeles, was driving along a stretch of the 110 freeway, in (here’s the kicker) a silver Bentley Continental, when the car was pierced with multiple gun shots. It’s reported that he has since died as a result of injuries sustained in the shooting.
Here’s the where I’m curious, confused, skeptical, suspicious and critical all at the same time. So, little is known on this Macias kid. I refer affectionately to him as a kid because how many 25 year old people have you ever seen driving around in a Bentley. Sure, I drive through Bev Hills everyday on my commute to and fro work. But the peeps I see driving around in them are presidents of banks and wealthy old Hollywood producers and actors or just really wealthy Persians who made a killing on buying up and historically over inflating the real estate prices in BH (but that’s a whole different Freakonomics blog for a different day).
The only 25 year old I’ve ever seen driving a Bentley was Stephan Marbury when he was a Phoenix Sun a few years back and that’s just because I was new to town and there are an overwhelming number of luxury cars I’d just never seen in the flesh, being a young lass raised in Buffalo NY (for the record; luxury cars don’t do well in places like BUF. And I don’t know anyone wealthy enough in the WNY area to drive a Bentley, with the exception of perhaps a Sabre or Bill or owner of said teams…or maybe the Sorrento family). So, a 25 year old Hispanic male driving a 100K car? These are my people people! We like $3000 cars with $8K worth of accessories on ‘em-think tricked out Honda Civic with DeLorean style doors! We like old 70’s Caddies with White wall tires if we’re talking luxury vehicles (sorry Uncle Pete, we begged you not to drop us off in that beaner mobile for basketball practice daily!). Yeah I said it! And, we can fit our entire family in those things far easier than in a mini van. Plus there’s a nice little cargo hold where immigration can’t see people….it’s called a trunk people! No one’s goin to find long lost cousin Eusebio in the trunk amongst the gallon jugs of Mexican vanilla and blankets we’re taking back through Nogales!
Back to the Bentley. Reports show that the car was recently purchased from Dream Motors Cars in Beverly Hills. The name of the owner is not being released to the public. Nothing is known about the driver – what we can’t even find a myspace or facebook page on this guy? We don’t know why he was driving the car. It’s not likely that someone residing in East LA would own the car (I make this statement solely based on a Freakonomics perspective), since the median income is $28,544 (according to recent census numbers). So, who does the car belong to? Why was he driving it? Why was he in the neighborhood he was in (incidentally East LA is a mile or two from where he was. The more likely neighborhood where a car like that might belong is about 12 miles west of his location; it’s also where the car was purchased)? I have more questions now than before the story ran.
The media hasn’t done its job in gathering facts and back story. Reporters have become lazy. They don’t want to dig. They don’t want to ask the difficult questions. Stories like this drive me crazy. Because it’s likely we’ll see little follow up. Perhaps it’s just my curiosity that leads me to wonder about additional facts of this story however, it’s a great example of lazy journalism. It’s pervasive through out media outlets nationwide. Don’t believe me? Here are a few more examples where there is more missing than present. ANd these are just from today!:
Driver attacked while waiting at Red Light - just plain old laziness – there’s nothing here. This is a non story.
Super Market denies customer service – will not write Adolf Hitler on cake – how come nobody has the cojones to call this jackass anit-Semetic or question him as to why his kids are named what they are?-look at his kids names! ARGH!
Suspect cop is engaged…again – how come nobody bothered to look into snooping around about this poor naïve 23 year old girl and what the hell is her name?
I'm sure I could find some stuff about a hedge fund manager...(but I have a date with a hot one later, so I'm not going ot screw that up until AFTER my dinner at Mastro's - a girl's gotta eat), a stupid hocky player saying something even dumber than teh IQ embroidered on his sweater (yes, people they are called sweaters) , the crazy weather in LA or any other seemingly innocuous topic, but this is all I had time for!
Seriously people. LAZY!!!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Where parental instinct to protect and the law collide - mental health reform vs ineffective legistlation
I’ve read and seen and heard law is reason without passion. While I believe that, it is often that very passion that incites people to practice law. (Well, that and the modicum of security a law degree and a card carrying bar holder have, along with a fairly decent pay check.- Sorry, tangent!) I am the mother of a BEE-YOU-Tee-FUL 4 year old. No, I mean, he's really beautiful. But it's not just that he's beautiful on the outside. More importantly, he's truly a kind little soul, who is sensitive and friendly and open.
Now, the first parts of these statements make me proud, in a narcissistic way. And I'd like to think that we're a pretty attractive lot. It's the second part that scares the hell out of me. It’s the intangible beauty in him. He's open and kind and approachable. This is where, in the worst of predatorial situations, he could become a victim. I know, you are all saying I'm being paranoid and thinking the worst. But the worst is out there:
http://www.buffalonews.com/home/story/520709.html
I’m torn between the rights of the criminal individual and the rights of sociatally normal people, who are should be able to live in a seemingly safe environment. Currently legislation exists in New York State allowing the state to impose additional confinement on sexual predators beyond the time they serve in a traditional prison environment. Essentially, as it stands, the state is authorized to hold a person on a permanent 5150 hold (I’m sure there’s a more appropriate term for this confinement but it’s simplest and most relatable term I could muster this morning) since these offenders are considered to be an on-going danger to their communities.
IF we’ve determined sex offenders to be a danger to themselves or others, as with any other person with a profound mental illness, institutionalization is expected. That’s the mom in me talking. However, if a person has “paid his debt to society”, it would stand to reason that a person should be released into our communities.
I support rehabilitation, however I question our methods. And can a person, whose brain isn’t chemically wired the way most of us are, be “rehabilitated”? It’s not a matter of law that we should examine but rather an issue of mental health. Sure the law is intended to protect us individually and as a whole. But issues of mental health problems are so prevalent amongst our nation’s criminals that I question whether putting humans into 6x9 cells is truly any kind of rehabilitation.
The Protective maternal instinct in me says hog tie these people and inject them with histamines as punishment for the damage they do, often to our children. (Yeah, yeah, I know, cruel and unusual). The advocate in me says a great deal of reform and approach to mental health care is required for rehab to even be possible, if it is at all. And for now, all we have is the law to help guide us into integrating this people back into whatever we deem societally appropriate for this subset of people.
I look forward to these discussions in the coming few years. And at some point, I may be asked to argue the opposite of the way my heart and gut tell me as a matter of exercise. Just some intense thought born of an article appearing on good ole buffalo.com and the sex offenders in NY.
Now, the first parts of these statements make me proud, in a narcissistic way. And I'd like to think that we're a pretty attractive lot. It's the second part that scares the hell out of me. It’s the intangible beauty in him. He's open and kind and approachable. This is where, in the worst of predatorial situations, he could become a victim. I know, you are all saying I'm being paranoid and thinking the worst. But the worst is out there:
http://www.buffalonews.com/home/story/520709.html
I’m torn between the rights of the criminal individual and the rights of sociatally normal people, who are should be able to live in a seemingly safe environment. Currently legislation exists in New York State allowing the state to impose additional confinement on sexual predators beyond the time they serve in a traditional prison environment. Essentially, as it stands, the state is authorized to hold a person on a permanent 5150 hold (I’m sure there’s a more appropriate term for this confinement but it’s simplest and most relatable term I could muster this morning) since these offenders are considered to be an on-going danger to their communities.
IF we’ve determined sex offenders to be a danger to themselves or others, as with any other person with a profound mental illness, institutionalization is expected. That’s the mom in me talking. However, if a person has “paid his debt to society”, it would stand to reason that a person should be released into our communities.
I support rehabilitation, however I question our methods. And can a person, whose brain isn’t chemically wired the way most of us are, be “rehabilitated”? It’s not a matter of law that we should examine but rather an issue of mental health. Sure the law is intended to protect us individually and as a whole. But issues of mental health problems are so prevalent amongst our nation’s criminals that I question whether putting humans into 6x9 cells is truly any kind of rehabilitation.
The Protective maternal instinct in me says hog tie these people and inject them with histamines as punishment for the damage they do, often to our children. (Yeah, yeah, I know, cruel and unusual). The advocate in me says a great deal of reform and approach to mental health care is required for rehab to even be possible, if it is at all. And for now, all we have is the law to help guide us into integrating this people back into whatever we deem societally appropriate for this subset of people.
I look forward to these discussions in the coming few years. And at some point, I may be asked to argue the opposite of the way my heart and gut tell me as a matter of exercise. Just some intense thought born of an article appearing on good ole buffalo.com and the sex offenders in NY.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
For Snakebite and anyone else to wax nostalgic
OK here's the deal, when I was in college my friends and I would spend our free time in the TV studio rediscovering the old episodes of Saved By the Bell. If your within 5 years, plus or minus my age, you will know that you either wanted to be Kelly Kapowski, you wanted to sleep with her or you were just really stoned or bored cathing up with the Bayside kids and Mr, Belding in syndication!!
A.C. Slater Facts
We've all heard of the Chuck Norris facts, about how the Chuckster "Does not love Raymond" and how he can "blow bubbles with beef jerky." But no one knows about all the things the Saved by the Bell jock, A.C. Slater can do..... until now.... -
There's only 3 things A.C. Slater likes. 1. Women, 2. Sports, 3. Putting nerds in lockers at
Bayside High.- If you open A.C. Slater's locker at Bayside High you'll find the mummified corpses of over a million nerds, dorks, dweebs, preppies, and teachers.- If there is a sport that Slater isn't any good at, it must not be a sport. And Slater doesn't consider Cheerleading to be a sport. But he does consider cheerleaders to be "Hot Mamas."-
A.C. Slater was never Saved by the Bell, they named the show that because there's only so many nerds that can be thrown into a locker until gym class started.
- You're not allowed to call him A.C. Slater. You can call him Ace, or The Slate.
- Sometimes A.C. Slater plays guitar and calls himself Esteban.
- A.C. Slater invented students having sex with their teachers.
- Slater put the "AC" in "aphrodisiac."
- A.C. Slater doesn't have dimples. Those were dents of anger. If you ever were unfortunate to see those dimples in person, you were quickly and violently thrown in a locker.
- Slater eats live rifle rounds for breakfast.
- Slater once had an opportunity to recieve Spider-Man's alien symbiote suit. Instead, A.C. Slater shoved it in a locker.
- A.C. Slater's heroes consist solely of dead soldiers of WWI, WWII, and 'Nam.
- Mario Lopez is Slater's mild mannered alter ego.
- Super Mario Brothers were created in A.C.'s alter ego's image.
- The reason people never see ninjas is because Slater shoved them all in lockers at Bayside High.
- Someone once took a drop of A.C. Slater's sweat and put it on a tiny blue stone, this was the birth of Viagra.
- Slater always kept a clean shaven face because hair doesn't grow on granite.
- Valley, Bayside's rival school, never really existed except during the first Season of Saved by the Bell. They just mention it so much to cover up the fact that A.C. Slater's dimples killed it.
- Slater put the "AC" in "Ejaculation."
- A.C. Slater's nipples are made of leather.
- Before he went to Bayside High, A.C. Slater work as a stunt double for Hulk Hogan.
- A.C. Slater had a pet chameleon named Artie that died while in Zack's care in the first season. Every Zack Morris segment for the rest of Saved by the Bell's episodes had to have dramatic special effects to make it seem like Zack's face wasn't crushed by a baseball bat.
- Slater calls Zack Morris preppy because he can.
- A.C. Slater's favorite type of porn? Obituaries.
- A.C. Slater's dimples weren't there since birth. Two meteors fell from space hitting A.C. Slater on opposite sides of the face. Those meteors are now stuck in a locker at Bayside High.
- Slater can eat thunder and crap world peace.
- A.C. Slater was the only student in Bayside History to record two A++++++++ grades on his report card. They were for Gym Class and War History.
- Justin Timberlake asked A.C. Slater for advice on how to bring sexy back.
- The makers of the Rambo movie series didn't come up with the idea. They traveled several years into the future and spotted A.C. Slater at Bayside High playing lacrosse. Luckily A.C. Slater liked the movies, if not, Sylvester Stallone would be stuck in a locker at Bayside High.
- A.C. Slater is the number that comes after infinity.
- Jessie Spano did Showgirls because A.C. Slater told her to. After the movie was done filming Slater dumped her for Gina Gershon.
- How did A.C. Slater get his powers? He was bitten by a radio active dimple.
- A.C. Slater took Jesse Spano's virginity... and shoved it in a locker.
- The music band "Gym Class Heroes" are hated by A.C. Slater for making money off Slater's middle name.
- Saved by the Bell was orginally called "Good Morning Miss Bliss" and set in Indiana. Slater didn't like Indiana so he single handedly moved the school to California, changed its name to Bayside high, and fired Miss Bliss.
- A.C. Slater has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
- Many people wonder how A.C. Slater gets that great tan year round. It's simple, Slater goes to his neighbor's fake bake shop every other day to tan on her tanning bed... while it's on fire.
- A.C. Slater's dimples don't have a mind of their own, but, Slater's mind has dimples of its own.
- Before A.C. Slater grew his dimples, he was known as Erik Estrada and starred in porn.
- The Saved by the Bell hangout known as "The Max" used to be called "The Low Intensity." But then A.C. Slater started going there.
- There's a rumor that A.C. Slater will take over as the host of Price is Right after Drew Carey retires. If so, there will be only one game: Shove the dork in the Locker.
- Slater put the "AC" in "Deadly Automobile Accident"
- When A.C. Slater and Zack Morris first met they were battling over Kelly Kapowski. The only reason Kelly went with Zack is because she's allergic to manly...and homosexuals. Maybe not allergic but you get the idea!
A.C. Slater Facts
We've all heard of the Chuck Norris facts, about how the Chuckster "Does not love Raymond" and how he can "blow bubbles with beef jerky." But no one knows about all the things the Saved by the Bell jock, A.C. Slater can do..... until now.... -
There's only 3 things A.C. Slater likes. 1. Women, 2. Sports, 3. Putting nerds in lockers at
Bayside High.- If you open A.C. Slater's locker at Bayside High you'll find the mummified corpses of over a million nerds, dorks, dweebs, preppies, and teachers.- If there is a sport that Slater isn't any good at, it must not be a sport. And Slater doesn't consider Cheerleading to be a sport. But he does consider cheerleaders to be "Hot Mamas."-
A.C. Slater was never Saved by the Bell, they named the show that because there's only so many nerds that can be thrown into a locker until gym class started.
- You're not allowed to call him A.C. Slater. You can call him Ace, or The Slate.
- Sometimes A.C. Slater plays guitar and calls himself Esteban.
- A.C. Slater invented students having sex with their teachers.
- Slater put the "AC" in "aphrodisiac."
- A.C. Slater doesn't have dimples. Those were dents of anger. If you ever were unfortunate to see those dimples in person, you were quickly and violently thrown in a locker.
- Slater eats live rifle rounds for breakfast.
- Slater once had an opportunity to recieve Spider-Man's alien symbiote suit. Instead, A.C. Slater shoved it in a locker.
- A.C. Slater's heroes consist solely of dead soldiers of WWI, WWII, and 'Nam.
- Mario Lopez is Slater's mild mannered alter ego.
- Super Mario Brothers were created in A.C.'s alter ego's image.
- The reason people never see ninjas is because Slater shoved them all in lockers at Bayside High.
- Someone once took a drop of A.C. Slater's sweat and put it on a tiny blue stone, this was the birth of Viagra.
- Slater always kept a clean shaven face because hair doesn't grow on granite.
- Valley, Bayside's rival school, never really existed except during the first Season of Saved by the Bell. They just mention it so much to cover up the fact that A.C. Slater's dimples killed it.
- Slater put the "AC" in "Ejaculation."
- A.C. Slater's nipples are made of leather.
- Before he went to Bayside High, A.C. Slater work as a stunt double for Hulk Hogan.
- A.C. Slater had a pet chameleon named Artie that died while in Zack's care in the first season. Every Zack Morris segment for the rest of Saved by the Bell's episodes had to have dramatic special effects to make it seem like Zack's face wasn't crushed by a baseball bat.
- Slater calls Zack Morris preppy because he can.
- A.C. Slater's favorite type of porn? Obituaries.
- A.C. Slater's dimples weren't there since birth. Two meteors fell from space hitting A.C. Slater on opposite sides of the face. Those meteors are now stuck in a locker at Bayside High.
- Slater can eat thunder and crap world peace.
- A.C. Slater was the only student in Bayside History to record two A++++++++ grades on his report card. They were for Gym Class and War History.
- Justin Timberlake asked A.C. Slater for advice on how to bring sexy back.
- The makers of the Rambo movie series didn't come up with the idea. They traveled several years into the future and spotted A.C. Slater at Bayside High playing lacrosse. Luckily A.C. Slater liked the movies, if not, Sylvester Stallone would be stuck in a locker at Bayside High.
- A.C. Slater is the number that comes after infinity.
- Jessie Spano did Showgirls because A.C. Slater told her to. After the movie was done filming Slater dumped her for Gina Gershon.
- How did A.C. Slater get his powers? He was bitten by a radio active dimple.
- A.C. Slater took Jesse Spano's virginity... and shoved it in a locker.
- The music band "Gym Class Heroes" are hated by A.C. Slater for making money off Slater's middle name.
- Saved by the Bell was orginally called "Good Morning Miss Bliss" and set in Indiana. Slater didn't like Indiana so he single handedly moved the school to California, changed its name to Bayside high, and fired Miss Bliss.
- A.C. Slater has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
- Many people wonder how A.C. Slater gets that great tan year round. It's simple, Slater goes to his neighbor's fake bake shop every other day to tan on her tanning bed... while it's on fire.
- A.C. Slater's dimples don't have a mind of their own, but, Slater's mind has dimples of its own.
- Before A.C. Slater grew his dimples, he was known as Erik Estrada and starred in porn.
- The Saved by the Bell hangout known as "The Max" used to be called "The Low Intensity." But then A.C. Slater started going there.
- There's a rumor that A.C. Slater will take over as the host of Price is Right after Drew Carey retires. If so, there will be only one game: Shove the dork in the Locker.
- Slater put the "AC" in "Deadly Automobile Accident"
- When A.C. Slater and Zack Morris first met they were battling over Kelly Kapowski. The only reason Kelly went with Zack is because she's allergic to manly...and homosexuals. Maybe not allergic but you get the idea!
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